No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
