She said her name was "party"
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
