New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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