Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just google imaged poop.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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