I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
