Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
