What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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