i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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