but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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