the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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