Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
