They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
