I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
third nipple confirmed
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
