I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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