i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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