It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
