Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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