if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
