90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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