two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
