You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
