carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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