Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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