some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he was CRYING into my vagina
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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