So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
