yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He shit in the fireplace
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize