Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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