You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
