5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
