I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
