The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
