I just saw a hot homeless man
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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