you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
