His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize