put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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