oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
