He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I CAN MOONWALK!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
40s are totally the cure
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
