I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize