For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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