R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Sponge bath it is.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
