Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
