don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
