Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
