awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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