Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
