ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
