Welp...herpes.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My day in three words: secret purse cake
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
