Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
