You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
it glows. i had to have it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
