I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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