Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
