I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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