he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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