ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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