OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
