Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
