Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
