I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
