Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
