Duck Duck Cougar?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
