you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize