I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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